


Be Around Me

by galahy



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Feelings Realization, M/M, Multi, Pining, Realization, Songfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:14:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28426878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galahy/pseuds/galahy
Summary: Bad is a little Clingy. The premise is that Bad has been feeling distant from Skeppy lately, and it sucks.  This is slightly based on the song, "Be Around Me" by Will Joseph Cook. This has multiple parts and I will be adding more. :] Enjoy.
Relationships: Badboyhalo/Skeppy (Video Blogging RPF), Skeppy & BadBoyHalo, Skeppy/Badboyhalo, Zak Ahmed & Darryl Noveschosch, Zak Ahmed/Darryl Noveschosch, skephalo - Relationship
Comments: 7
Kudos: 190





	1. How was your day?

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy! Hope you enjoy-it's been a long time since I've written anything! Didn't see much skephalo content so I decided to make my own. I adore bad and only want the best for him.  
> Please don't send this to creators, I would die if I made them uncomfortable LOL.  
> Sorry for any general mistakes, as I said I have not written in forever!  
> <3

Bad was sitting at his PC, the SMP was a bit slow today. Which wasn’t exactly the norm. He’d talked to Antfrost a bit that day, but other than those slim interactions his stream felt a little dead. Not viewer wise, but his heart just wasn’t in it today. He was cycling through donations like clockwork when he’d read over one he got constantly. 

‘Call Skeppy!’ The chat demanded, time and time again. 

Usually, he wouldn’t bother Skeppy like this, he considered all the cons to just calling Skeppy right now. He was probably off doing something. His friend was the type that couldn’t sit still, while Bad often felt stagnant. It wasn’t as if bad didn’t do anything-he just wasn’t the kind of guy to go and do whatever he wanted whenever he felt like it. After messing around on his stream more, he ultimately decided asking to call wouldn’t hurt. Grabbing his phone from the left-hand side of his desk, he opened up his and Skeppy’s DMs. 

‘Hi! :D I’m streaming rn, do you want to call? owo’

And sent. Now all he had to do was wait!

Waiting was fine for the first hour. He has missed a DM or two from Skeppy before, but lately, their conversations have been so...slow. It put a big damper on his mood, so much so that he felt the need to finally end his stream. Within the last hour, Puffy ended up getting on the call. While the discount Skeppy jokes were funny at first, they left him with a sense of yearning that was hard to joke about. She was good company, even if she memed on him to an insane degree.

“Alright guys, I’m a sleepy muffin, so I think now's the time to wrap up!” He said, after a minute or two of silence from both him and Puffy.

She chimed in, “Aw, night Bad!” 

“Goodnight Puffy! Let’s see…” He typed /raid CaptainPuffy into the chat. “Everyone!! We’re raiding Puffy! Go head over to her stream! She’s a good muffin!” Raiding was one of his favorite parts of streaming, the feeling of sending over thousands of folks to your friends so they can get the attention they deserve-unmatched. 

“Aw Bad! Thank you!” You could tell she was smiling just from her voice, she was like that. 

“No Problem! Goodnight you guys!” And with that, he finally ended the stream. Today the minutes seemed to drag on, he sunk back into his chair. The sudden movement made Lucy blink awake, wagging her tail ever so slightly. At least she could make him feel a bit better. He leaned towards his bed to provide her the best pets he possibly could. A yawn escaped his mouth and that was his cue that he should start attempting to get some sleep. 

After doing his nightly routine, he curled up into his bed. Lucy hopped in just minutes later. Ready to stay awake anxiously for two hours before actually sleeping, because that’s the norm in his world. This ritual started off with Twitter, scrolling through posts upon posts on his feed. Then he’d head over to various tags, liking some of the posts before eventually deciding to move onto the next distraction. The letter emotion in the corner of his screen was screaming out to him, he knew nothing would be there, there wasn’t a notification. What would the point be? Never hurt to check.

It’d been hours now, still no response from Skeppy. These days they were talking less and less, Bad barely knew where Skeppy was half of the time. One week he could be in LA, the other Dubai, and sometimes he was in Florida. Much like Bad. Sometimes they felt impossibly close like if he went outside one day he might just see Skeppy standing there. Skeppy would look at him, the sun shining behind him as if to say ‘he’s finally here’. Though, Skeppy wouldn’t need the help shining. Maybe they would run towards each other, maybe they would be in shock a minute or two. The scene would eventually end in an embrace that would last as long as they both needed it to. So close. 

Bad knew that this wasn’t going to happen, why would it? Lately, it felt like Skeppy wanted to be with everyone but him. People he didn’t even know were around Skeppy  _ before him. _ The thought shouldn’t have bothered him as much as it did, but the fact that some randos were out there with his best friend that he hadn’t met yet-it made his blood boil. Anger was never his strong suit, but everyone has caught onto the fact that he gets jealous. Much more than he’d like to admit. It shouldn’t make his stomach drop every time he sees Skeppy with someone he doesn’t recognize. The tweets Skeppy makes about them meeting up, the tweets he likes about them-together, it shouldn’t bother him as much as it did. Despite the fact that it shouldn’t, it still did. These thoughts were keeping him up almost every night now, meanwhile, Skeppy obviously wasn’t even thinking about him.

It was fine, it would be fine. They will be back to normal in no time and then Bad can go back to being worried about more sensible things. Such as, his dog, or his twitch growth, maybe munchy. You know, things that should matter a bit more than his friend ignoring him for a bit. What if he needed space anyway, and Bad was overstepping a boundary? Maybe everything was getting to him. 

At this point, everyone was talking about their relationship. Tubbo implied they’re dating, Vurb and Spifey with their constant sweets, Quackity’s general mayhem, and Puffy going as far to pretend to be Skeppy just to get a rise out of him. Their roleplay together within the SMP was very...intense. It made him cry-just the thought of losing Skeppy. The idea that he might not want to be around him anymore, that he would change so much nothing he could do would make him happy. He just wanted to make him happy. 

Was that all too much for him? What if he was losing Skeppy, for those reasons or ones he hadn’t even thought of yet? The growing distance both emotionally and physically could be intentional. What if Skeppy wanted to be lost? His mind was racing, going from point to point, questions with no answers were having a race inside of his brain. Whichever won would be what he had a breakdown about tonight-

Ding!

He snapped out of it almost instantly, looking at the notification on his phone. Blinking a bit, he felt water run down his cheeks. When did he start crying? He wiped them away, he didn’t even know if it was from Skeppy. But the distraction was obviously needed. 

It did end up being Skeppy. A sigh of relief escaped him.

‘Sure :)’ He said. Just a few hours too late. It was not a big deal.

‘Skeppyyyyy. I ended the stream hours ago!! Next time? :L’

And of course, the double text. ‘Were you busy? What are you up to?’

He waited about 5 minutes for a response, just staring at their DM screen. Somehow he’d convinced himself that if he clicked off again Skeppy would never respond. 

‘Yeaaaaa. I was recording some stuff. Wbu?’ Skeppy responded.

Bad bit his tongue. It’d been a while since Skeppy recorded a video without him. Another sign?

‘I’m trying to sleep, but you know how that goes :(‘ 

Skeppy wouldn’t know. If he did, Bad wouldn’t be having this problem right now. Skeppy would’ve just kept messaging him regularly, and they would never have that problem.

He responds quicker this time. ‘Im sorry :( anything I can do abt it?’  _ Pay more attention to me.  _ Bad thought for a quick second, then shook his head. It wasn’t about attention, it was just about them feeling distant. That just wasn’t the right phrasing. The help he wanted, the help he craved was for Skeppy to be here. Be in his space, soak up every aspect of him until they’re practically the same person. You know, best friend things. 

His mind would wander a lot these days, what was Skeppy up to right now? What if he was talking about him, or thinking about him. Dreading their next conversation maybe?

Bad responded. ‘Not really.’ No emoji, this was serious stuff. 

Skeppy’s response came almost instantaneously, maybe he got the vibe?

‘Wanna call?’ His heart leaped into his throat. It was like his brain stopped working, he nodded his head despite knowing no one could see it. 

‘Yeah!! That would be really nice actually :D’

‘K get on disc :)’ Another quick response, just talking to skeppy made his mood shift so quickly. He wondered if he ever did the same for him. 

Bad didn’t have to get on discord, he already had it open on his laptop. Which was perched right next to his bed-just encase he wanted to do some work off his desk. He reached over, poking at the trackpad until the screen lit up. Before he could go to call him himself, Skeppy had begun calling him. 

“Hey,” He heard his best friend from the other end. It felt like the panic from earlier was just a bad dream, all the doubts had subsided for just a second. All from the word-hey.

“Hello,” Could he tell his voice was strained? No, of course not. 

“Are you at your PC?” Skeppy asked, he could hear faint taps coming from the other end.

“No, I’m still in bed. Laptop,” he smiled, hopefully, it came through with his tone. “Sorry, should I get on?” Bad yawned. 

“You’re good, I was just wondering why your mic was shit-” Skeppy laughed. 

“Hey! I paid good money for this laptop-”

“You could’ve just used discord on your phone, the quality might’ve been better.” 

Bad huffed. “Well, I’m sorry Skeppy. Maybe I prefer PC discord.” He didn’t actually have a rebuttal or an actual argument, all he knew was that he wanted to be right. Not sure what about yet.

“Okay, but that doesn’t change the fact your phone might have a better mic than your laptop!” Bad could hear Skeppy faintly giggling on the other end. They both got a kick out of ‘fighting’ like this. Maybe that’s why they worked so well together.

“No. You’re wrong-what if you recorded my voice now, right? And then I could call you on my phone. Then we can both compare the quality and decide which is ACTUALLY better.”

“What would be the point? Does it matter?” The words at face value might make it seem like Skeppy was willing to agree to disagree, but then he continued. “You can just admit I’m right, it’s okay.”

“No!” Bad practically shouted, Lucy poked her head up from his blankets. “We will test it-get your recording software open.” He could hear Skeppy sigh, an audible eye roll. 

“Say something,” Skeppy said.

“Hello-I am Badboyhalo from my Laptop. This is a recording. To prove I’m right. And that Skeppy’s wrong.” Bad laughed a bit. 

His friend clicked around a bit. “Now call me on your phone discord-” Skeppy had already sent Bad the first audio file.

Bad shuffled through his covers, grabbing his phone. When he turned it on the screen was still open on their DMs, he was so glad Skeppy asked to call. This was exactly what he needed. He closed out of them, opening discord to call Skeppy. 

The call connected and on the other line he heard, “Say something.” The same prompt as before.

“Hellloooooo Skepppyyyyy.” He paused for a second. “This is….” Another pause. “Badboyhalo. On his phone.” Bad could barely hold his amusement.

“Why do you keep pausing?” Skeppy asked.

“I don’t know what you mean-that’s just my phone audio! It sucks, right?” He had the biggest grin.

“Oh my god, that’s cheating Bad!” Skeppy sounded annoyed, but not angry. The clicking started up again, and another audio file was sent. Bad reconnected on his laptop. 

“Okay, let’s listen.” Skeppy unplugged his headphones on the other end so Bad and him could listen to the files at the exact same time. After giving them a quick listen, Skeppy spoke up.

“They sound the same-” 

Bad interruption. “Actually, Skeppy, my phone audio cut out a LOT. I think that might affect quality.” Skeppy laughed a bit more, before responding. 

“That doesn’t count! It didn’t really cut out!” He shouted back. 

“Mmm. I don’t know about that, Skeppy. Sounds like it cut out to me.” Bad was memeing, it was obvious, but Skeppy still seemed amused.

As they normally do, they went on with this argument for a while. It was all for fun, of course, they don’t have many serious arguments. Though, they are opposites on a lot of spectrums. Skeppy was a lot more extroverted than Bad, Bad was a lot more organized and rational than Skeppy, Skeppy didn’t live in his head as much, but despite all of this, they still got a lot. They got along a lot better than most people, some would argue. You would guess because of how different they are, they’d have more arguments like this. Their friendship prevailed, however, so the arguments were short-or just non-existent outside of teasing. 

After a while, they both got quieter. It wasn’t like the conversation was dwindling, they were both tired. It was getting late, so it was understandable. Bad had calmed down a lot since he started talking to Skeppy. He yawned, quietly but it must’ve still picked up. 

“Aw.” He heard Skeppy say. Bad smiled to himself, he always appreciated the compliments his friends gave him. He could hear Skeppy shuffling around on the other end.

“Are you going to bed soon, Skeppy? It’s getting late.” Bad said the shuffling was less noticeable now. 

“Uh, yeah, soon. I was just working on something.” He said. Something told him Skeppy didn’t actually plan on sleeping anytime soon.

“If you don’t at least get in bed, I’m never going to leave.” Bad joked, yawning again. He might fall asleep before he even gets the chance to end call-

“Then I won’t get in bed, what.” Skeppy laughed.

He could feel his heart start to pound, “Skeppy, that’s sweet but you need to sleep.” He continued. “How about this-if you don’t get in bed then I WILL leave.” Immediately he heard a beep, signifying Skeppy had left, then another when he rejoined.

“Sorry, switched to my phone, I’m going I promise.” He has a working mental image in his head of Skeppy sprinting to his bed at the thought of Bad leaving. It was comforting, knowing Skeppy wanted him to be around. 

“If I don’t get off I’m going to fall asleep on call…” It wasn’t like they hadn’t done that before, it was never intentional. It just happened.

“I don’t mind. Get some sleep Bad.” Skeppy responded, this felt a lot different from the past few days. It felt normal for once. Was it all in Bad’s head?

“You don’t? I just..what if it’s weird? I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay on…” Bad muttered, half shoving his face into his pillow. He was practically already asleep. Part of him thought if he fell asleep, the past few days would just repeat themselves again. Skeppy was busy, he knew that, he wasn’t sure why he worried so much about it. 

“Bad, I want you to stay.” Bad’s heart fluttered, why was it still beating so fast. He was really excited to be talking to Skeppy, he guessed. Whatever. It could’ve been a million other things. Lucy nuzzled up closer to him, so he held her under the covers. Bad just hummed in response to Skeppy. He was fading in and out of sleep until he eventually fell.


	2. Can't get you out of my mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confiding in those who care about you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Antfrost is in this chapter a lot! Also happy new years <3   
> I hope y'all are having a good day. I loved the bbh troll video. It was so cute. Anywho, fanfiction time. I am still getting into the swing of writing again, but I hope you all enjoy!

The sun bled in from his curtains, hitting his eyes head-on. It woke him up almost instantly, despite him trying to go back to sleep. Taking it as a sign to officially get up, he rubbed his eyes open. Almost as soon as he felt willing to get up, Lucy started barking as if her life depended on it. She circled around on the floor between him and the door a few times, he tried to figure out exactly what she wanted as he got up. Food would be his first bet, this could also be an elaborate ruse for treats, he left his room and headed directly to the Kitchen. She was following close behind him, the sound of his footsteps and her tiny ones filled the house. He could feel himself shift down every time he hit a bad board on the floor. A renovation or two would be nice once he gets the time. His schedule didn’t have a lot of free openings, but he liked it that way. He opened the curtains in the kitchen before getting Lucy’s food from the cupboard. Kicking her food bowl out from under the table, he picked it up and put a cup of dry mix into it. 

Lucy didn’t seem all too interested, she sniffed it a little. The food definitely wouldn’t go to waste, but that wasn’t exactly what she wanted at the moment. Bad thought for another second, and then grabbed some waste bags from under his sink. She knew what that meant and immediately sprinted to the hook her harness was dangling from, running in circles under it. That was definitely what she wanted. 

After getting more dressed and strapping Lucy into her harness, they headed outside. Everything was bright and he felt like he could see how hot it was outside. This wasn’t unusual for Florida weather, humid and hot was a good way to describe it. So, it didn’t bother him all too much. He did make sure to check how hot the pavement was, just to make sure it was okay for Lucy to walk on. And like that, they were off! 

Bad put in his earbuds, he was just listening to some Starset and scrolling through Twitter with his off-hand. A loud beep played through Bad’s earbuds. It was just an automated message, but it did remind him that he should check discord at some point today. Usually, he stayed on do not disturb, so he had to make a physical effort to keep up with messages. This was a better alternative to receiving thousands and thousands of messages via notifications a day.

He was open on him and Skeppy’s DMS, which wasn’t out of character for him lately, but he was surprised it said they were still calling. The night prior almost slipped his mind, the words ‘I want you to stay,’ echoed in his brain. It wasn’t even that big of a deal, he was just stating that he didn’t mind if Bad stayed. Was it a big deal? Bad was making it into a big deal, surely. Looking at the current call status in their DMS, he noticed that Skeppy wasn’t on it anymore. He joined it, then promptly left. Fully ending the call. Since it was still going on, he guessed that Skeppy only left recently. Scrolling down, he saw a dm.

‘hey i have to go but ill ttyl’

Was that a promise? Bad’s first thought was the next time they would talk. The feeling of dread that he had the night before was starting to creep in, despite the fact that Skeppy had affirmed he did enjoy having Bad around. Nothing has changed, no big event had shifted their friendship, so why did he feel so weird all of the sudden? Lucy found a patch of grass to roll in while he zoned out in the middle of the sidewalk. He needed to settle on a response.

‘Alright! Talk to you soon :D’ would have to do for now.

It was a few minutes later and he had escaped his trance when a runner had to maneuver around him. He tried to apologize, but they were already too far away. Lucy was looking up at him, patiently waiting for him to move. She knew not to yank on her harness-so she just sat there. “Sorry, let’s go.” He said, knowing she didn’t understand but hopefully she understood the vibe. 

The sidewalk went on for just a bit longer, Bad happily hummed along to his music. Despite him going to bed rather late, it was still pretty early in the morning. You could see the moon from some angles still, the night still looming over the day. If he wanted him to stay why was he always gone?

Skeppy was probably out and about-maybe even back in Florida. It was weird that they both lived in Florida and still just...nothing. Something he thought about often was the fact that under the right circumstances they could just run into each other. Nothing monumental, not on camera, they would just see each other. They might have already met and Bad just didn’t remember. Lucy barked towards him, he was pulling on the leash too hard. His anxious thoughts were taking over everything he was doing. This isn’t how he normally thought, he would argue he’s even chill. Of course, streams get chaotic but you’re a different person on and off streams. The concept of even meeting his friend, or thinking about it, made his brain go haywire immediately. Skeppy wasn’t even here! He was off somewhere else. Nowhere near Bad.

How can you be so close to someone but still feel like you’re so far away? Skeppy wasn’t thinking about these sorts of things, he assumed. What else could he assume, Skeppy would rather go to LA than see his best friend, who was only a few hours away. The traveling was rough. He knew that one of the plethoras of his own excuses was that he disliked traveling. At least by plane, and it was true. Admittedly it could be more than that. Part of the reason he was overthinking this whole thing is he was nervous. Not so much scared, but it was the feeling you get before you go onto a scary ride at an amusement park. He couldn’t be scared, it was his best friend. They hadn’t even known each other that long and they were this close. The dynamic could change when they see each other in real life. Their personalities could shift, they could not mix together in person. As stated before, you’re a different person online than you are offline. The sidewalk ended. Lucy knew when to turn around and practically dragged him home.

With his zoning out, he barely noticed how hot it was outside. Lucy dashed to her water bowl, and ultimately the prepared food bowl. He wished things could be that easy, just going from one thing to the next. Not having to think about it so much. Over these few months, he’d been more worried than he’d even been before. Bad figured now was as good at time as any to get to work, he wouldn’t let his new worrier mentality affect his progress. Hopefully, the busy work would distract him.

Hours passed, he’d been mindlessly working on his server. New maps, the next contest he would do, and whatever else. There was a list of things that needed to get done that he’d have made and he still wasn’t feeling up to streaming today. Besides, he streamed yesterday. He tried to do things in a system, for every hour or so he worked on the server, he would keep up with his discord notifications. If someone asked him to come on stream he would, but he wouldn’t intrude on someone else’s stream.

Of course, his friends might invite him eventually. When he finally checked discord, he noticed a message from Antfrost, asking him to get on the server. Bad figured he could work on his personal projects and keep up a conversation, he was pretty used to it at this point. When he joined in, Antfrost had just finished responding to something in chat. 

“Hi!” Bad exclaimed.

“Hey!” Antfrost said, the tapping audible from the other end. 

“What are you up to?” Bad asked. 

“I am on the SMP right now,” He said, then continued. “I’m just farming, collecting materials, you know.” Bad nodded, despite Antfrost being unable to see that. 

“Are you trying to get something?” 

“I’m just getting stacked,” Antfrost laughed, he was probably attempting to get as much netherite or potions as he could manage. Bad tuned in on a different screen, as he suspected Antfrost was in the nether. It was very chill, he appreciated the chill stream. 

“How have you been, Bad?” Antfrost said, almost dying in a pit of lava. Well, almost was a bad choice of words. He had it under control. 

“Good!” Bad wasn’t the kind of person to bring up his issues, especially out of nowhere. 

“Have you been on?” 

“No, I’ve been working,” after a bit of silence, he saw Antfrost nod on stream. Ant headed out of the nether, he was pretty good at mining, and finding good items-which was one of the reasons they did heavy strategies with Antfrost in manhunts. It was good to have someone that didn’t mind all of the busywork. As Antfrost left the Nether portal, he headed over to the badlands. Bad stared at him and Skeppy’s house. Ant had started mindlessly talking at this point, Bad wasn’t doing the best with conversation this stream. Of course, they still were talking, it just wasn’t anything too chaotic or of too much substance. 

“It’s Skeppy and I’s house!” Bad pitched in as soon as he saw him pass it.

“Are you watching the stream?” Ant asked. 

“Yeah!” He said, instinctively glancing over to it once it was mentioned.

“Skeppy hasn’t been on in forever, sometimes I forget it’s his house too.” Ant laughed a bit. Ouch, it hit a bit of a nerve. Bad would never forget that it was  _ their  _ house, but it still made him even more upset than he already was. He had been more sensitive as of late. 

“Well, he’s been working on things recently. We recorded some videos here!” Bad said, trying to convince himself that it was fine. They were hanging out. He was just being paranoid. 

“Maybe it’s because he doesn’t stream and everyone else here is streaming 24/7.” Antfrost said, “I say while streaming.” Ant stated. Bad chuckled in response but didn’t say much more. 

The conversation dwindled, and eventually, Ant saw it fit to end the stream. He signed off but stayed in voice chat. Bad thought about asking him what’s up, but Ant beat him to it. 

“Are you alright Bad?” Antfrost said, the playing Minecraft status from his discord disappearing. Bad shifted in his chair. 

“I’m fine, you?” He responded, but Ant wasn’t having it. 

“!00%, you’re fine? You were kind of... off today. You’re known to just pretend things are alright until it gets to be too much.” Ant was right, not that he’d admit it. Bad knew that he preferred putting others before his own wellbeing. He didn’t want to put too much pressure on others. “We’re friends, you can talk to me.” 

Bad was thankful for his friends, but he wasn’t exactly sure what to say. When did this all start, even? A few days ago, weeks, months? “I appreciate it Ant but…” He paused. “I just...I don’t really know where to start.” Part of it was him not wanting to talk about it, but it was still true. 

Ant didn’t respond right away. “You don’t have to tell me, but you were weird yesterday. And before that. If there’s any way I can help, tell me.” Bad didn’t realize how obvious he was being. He was a softie. Ant was a good friend, and he decided that maybe it would help to talk about it even if it was just a bit. 

“I...I miss Skeppy.” Bad blurted out. 

“Is there any reason in particular?” Antfrost responded it felt like this conversation was made exclusively to make him more upset. Antfrost didn’t know that, but him thinking more into it wasn’t helping all that much. Bad didn’t know. He didn’t have the slightest clue why he felt like he was taking a stab to the chest every time he saw someone with Skeppy with someone who wasn’t him. They didn’t even schedule a meet-up, he had no reason to be upset about it.

“The whole meetup thing has been..weird. For some reason, I can’t figure out exactly why we haven’t yet. Skeppy likes traveling, and I could switch plans.” Bad rambled on. “Though, I have needed to switch it before. And we had to change things. I just-we just haven’t. I can’t really explain it.” Bad’s head was in his hands. Talking about it wasn’t going as smoothly as he thought. 

“Is there a reason you haven’t met up yet, other than the traveling? Have you tried talking to him?” Ant was asking all the wrong questions. Bad couldn’t respond, he opened his mouth but nothing of substance was coming out. This conversation felt like he was pushing a boulder up a hill.

“I don’t know.” He finally managed. 

“Are you scared?” Antfrost said. That was the tipping point. It wasn’t even that big of a deal, he didn’t say much. Just pointing out something that might not even be true. However, with their conversation, what had happened with Skeppy last night, or more so what didn’t happen, it was too much. Why was it like this now? Maybe it was more him that it was Skeppy. He didn’t know. It felt like he didn’t know anything, especially in regards to Skeppy. Why was everything about Skeppy? The silence was suffocating, this wasn’t what he wanted to be talking about. Was he scared? Is that why he was feeling like this? Somehow scared didn’t sum it all up. Scared. He might be scared. Too scared, even. His body sunk as if he was a bag of rocks thrown into the ocean. Ant tried to say something else, but Bad was drowning it all out. He was drowning.

He left the voice channel. 


	3. Take my heart and assess the damages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Lots and lots of being worried and scared
> 
> Bad starts to realize things, and one of those things he realizes is that this is becoming a problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy! This took a while because I am a busy man. Hope you enjoy! The next chapter will most likely be the last, but I am hoping to write many more a thing in the future. Still a new writer, but I am bent on improving!! Badboyhalo is the only man ever.

The room felt like it was shaking. Discord’s disconnect noise was echoing through his head, he could see the DMS from Ant start flooding in. He wasn’t one to spam, but he saw at least one ‘I’m sorry’ pop up in the corner of his screen. Ant didn’t do anything wrong, he knew that. In the back of his head, he knew that. Outwardly, he was muting any and all messages from Ant for a full 24 hours. It wasn’t the right thing to do, of course, he knew that. How couldn’t help it-his emotions were running wild, steering his body in directions that would only make things worse. He could only feel one thing. Panic-No. The same nervousness he felt before, no. Ant was right. He felt scared. Scared of everything that is happening right at this second, what would he do? Could he do anything? This was some sort of cruel maze that he was constantly walking through, and if he took a wrong turn he’d fall into lava. A maze he built all inside of his head. Block by block, tirelessly working towards his emotional demise. He'd place lava down at dead ends. Then, when he went through the maze himself, he might lose his way. The lava was all he'd be able to find. Was it just dead ends? Hitting the dead end, he would sink into the pits he'd placed. Lava filling his lungs, making everything feel so hot and encasing him. Forever trapping his sorry state in it until he was nothing. The claustrophobia was setting in, he rushed towards his window and propped it open. Then went to his door, opening that as well. The lava wasn’t real, neither was the maze, but the mental gymnastics he was doing made it so he was playing a solo game of ‘the floor is lava’ and he was losing. Every block was a dead end.

  
Nothing seemed to do the trick, he went through the entire house. Opening door after door hoping something would help. The exit to the maze was nowhere to be seen, he would turn left, open a door, turn right, open a door, but still, he couldn’t find the solution. Something that would stop it all from closing in, from trapping him right where he was, or burning him. Lucy was scurrying behind him, trying to figure out what he was doing but even he didn’t know at this point. The front door flung open, the air from outside flooding in. Bugs attracted to the light in his home came in one by one and he left, taking in the night air. He hadn’t realized the time but it didn’t matter, he stepped onto the sidewalk.

  
Everything was so still. There weren't any stars out, just a black blanket covering him. There wasn’t a way out. Coming onto his knees, it hurt hitting the pavement but that didn’t matter. Tears happened again, since when did he cry this much? Fragility had been a strong suit, but that was saved for when a dog died in a movie, his friend was going through a rough time, or just from him being frustrated! This was different, why was he doing this again? His hands were in his hair, grabbing it as if it were the only thing still keeping him sane. Why. What was the reason?

  
An overreaction to what Ant said? It was an overreaction. He wasn’t like this. Barking came up behind him, Lucy was just about to sprint past him when he swooped her up in his arms. Holding her close to his chest. That was enough to make him aware of his surroundings. Looking back to his house, he might have overdone it. Then when he took a glance around the neighborhood, he saw a few neighbors peeking out at him through the curtains. Okay, okay he’s fully snapped out of it. Kind of. Everything was still a lot, and closing the door when he entered the house, Lucy in tow, hurt.  
“I can’t do this anymore Lucy, we’re gonna figure it out. Okay?” He said to her, putting her back down on the floor. She was the only thing keeping him sane. A few minutes later, he had a set-up. His laptop was on the coffee table, along with some sticky notes and a notebook. It was the kind of thing that needed to be deconstructed, he’d never acted like this before in his entire life. So, something had to have made him go wacko as of late. The conversation with Ant hung in his head, they were talking about Skeppy.

  
“Skeppy...Skeppy. He...is my best friend, I’m feeling a bit hurt right now because we haven’t been hanging out as much. I know he’s been busy, but for some reason, I’m having trouble with that emotionally.” He nodded to himself, writing ‘SKEPPY’ in blue ink at the top of his notebook paper. Deconstructing whatever was going on was key to him feeling better, maybe. Normally, he was pretty good at being responsible and reasonable. Even if he pretended to go off for a joke, in the end, he was chill. Except for all the times he wasn’t. This might’ve been one of those times, he was already feeling bad for his neighbors. The whole neighborhood really did just see that. If anyone talked to him he would have to explain himself. He'll cross that bridge when he gets to it.

  
“Skeppy has...been seeing other people,” He wrote that down but crossed it out shortly after. “Skeppy’s been hanging out with new friends before me and it’s not my favorite thing right now.” He nodded, looking over to Lucy. She was sleeping. He wished he were asleep right now, but he knew the confines of his bed weren’t going to treat him well. The clock from his kitchen clicked and clicked as he wrote down even more little notes about the past few weeks.

  
The line he was making stopped as he thought about how today started. Technically, in the early-early morning, he was talking to Skeppy on discord. The words were still hanging in his head amidst all the other worries and doubt. With his growing fear taking over his head, he was still thinking about last night.

  
He wanted him. Bad clutched onto the pen. Was the statement sincere? The clock’s constant ticks played behind him. Was Skeppy missing him the same way he missed him, could he be thinking about him right now? The noise was making his head spin again. What if it wasn’t exactly the same-it could be. The clock kept moving, Bad thought about it more. How did he know for a fact Skeppy wasn’t feeling similarly. Sure, if Bad were him he would just talk to him more. But maybe Skeppy does things differently, he could never be sure.  
His heartbeat was finally calming down, a sigh of relief filled the room. It wasn’t quite the usual time he’d go to bed yet, but it was getting later. Talking to Skeppy seemed like his best option. Yeah, that should be fine. It wouldn’t hurt.

  
Heading off the couch, leaving his ‘work’ on the desk. This whole problem was proving to be a giant mess. Rat followed along as Bad went up to his room. His phone was on his desk, neatly placed next to his abandoned work and this still open discord channel. Ant deserved an apology, soon. What came over him? It felt like it wasn’t even him, he’d just panicked. This was dumb, he was going to get over it. Whatever ‘it’ was. Skeppy hadn’t messaged him yet, but that was okay. Typing on his phone, he first said ‘hi’. Then backspaced it. ‘Hey’ seemed appropriate. Backspace again. ‘What’s up?’ He didn’t even fully finish the question.

  
This was more difficult than he had anticipated. Nothing seemed to fit, the things he was trying to say couldn’t be conveyed in just one message. It would be a lengthy conversation, he already knew that, starting it was the issue. Bad knew he could do this, his hands just weren’t letting him. After backspacing every single thing he wrote so much, he eventually accidentally sent just a singular ‘H’. Extremely smooth, an excellent way to start the conversation he wanted to have.

  
Skeppy was typing. Bad held his breath.

  
“H.” Skeppy responded. Bad was still holding it. He felt so stupid.

  
“I didn’t mean to send that! Hi Skeppy! :D” He said.

  
Skeppy is calling. He’s what now? His phone lit up, he immediately pressed accept. Oh no, this meant now was the time. He didn’t feel ready. What was he going to say, should he just ask?  
“Hey Bad,” He can’t do this. What was his goal here again? “What’s up?” Skeppy said. Was this supposed to be hard? He knew that confrontation was usually difficult, but he wasn’t the kind of person that had that much trouble communicating. Generally, he would describe himself as extroverted. He was taking too long to respond.

  
“I’m fine, you?” He said, lying straight to him.

  
“Tired.” Bad nodded, not that Skeppy would be able to see that.

  
“So, Skeppy…” Why was he starting it like that? He heard Skeppy shift on the other line. He thought for a few more seconds. It wasn’t awkward, just quiet. Bad felt nervous again.

  
“...yeah?” Skeppy said. Bad swallowed whatever words were going to come out of his mouth. Not that he had thought of anything.

  
“I think we need,” He paused, taking a deep breath. “talk about something.” On the other end, nothing could be heard. He waited, hoping Skeppy might just say exactly what he was thinking before him but he didn’t.

  
“I know you’re busy, but I...miss you?” There was doubt in his word choice, and the tone he used. Desperately, he wished he could just make Skeppy understand without saying anything.

  
“I...miss you too?” Skeppy responded, obviously not sure in his answer.

  
“But I mean a lot, Skeppy.” To the point, it’s making him go insane.

  
“Do you mean today, or?”

  
“Just, lately. You know?” Bad was slowly becoming more aware that he would actually have to say how he felt fully.

  
“Not really, we talk almost every day?”

  
“It’s the almost that gets me-” BAD WHY DID YOU SAY THAT.

  
Skeppy laughed, he LAUGHED. Bad wasn’t sure why Skeppy didn’t seem to be taking this as seriously as he was.

  
“Bad, do you want to talk every day?” Skeppy was still giggling a bit under his breath. “I can make more of an effort to call you-”

  
“Skeppy, I’m being serious,” Bad mumbled. “I just...want to be around you more. Know how you’re doing…” Skeppy knew Bad well enough to know when he just needed to listen.

  
“Alright,” Skeppy moved around a bit on the other end. He probably just sat up or something. “What can I do?”

  
“Well. It’s not really a you-problem I just...it’s been hard lately. Sometimes, because we haven’t been talking as much, I think you don’t want to hang out with me as much as you do other people.” It felt stupid now that he said it out loud, but he was already choking up a bit.

  
“Bad-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to...make you feel like I didn’t want to hang out with you.” Bad felt like he was putting too much on Skeppy already. “Is there...a reason why?”

  
“I don’t know. I just see you hang out with people I barely know and...it gets to me. We’ve been friends for two years and we haven’t met up yet, but you’ll meet up with people you barely know? On a whim?” Was Bad being clingy?

  
“...do you...want to meet up?” Skeppy asked as if he didn’t know the answer.

  
“Of course Skeppy!” Bad responded, almost immediately.

  
“Then when. I’m free whenever.” Skeppy said.

  
“Well Skeppy we can’t just do that on a whim-” Bad stopped, considering all the times he had free, and which days would be the absolute best to meet Skeppy on.

  
“Bad,” Skeppy sighed. “Part of the reason we haven’t met up is because YOU need to just rip off the bandaid-”

  
“Skeppy-I don’t want to mess it up! We have to plan it out-” Bad was starting to get nervous again.

  
“Bad, just don’t think. Next time you're free, let’s do it.” Skeppy said, how could he not think about it as much as he was?

  
Just don’t think. Skeppy made it sound so simple. Maybe it was that simple. He pulled up his calendar. “The first?” He said.

  
“The first, okay.”

  
“Do you need money for a ticket-I’ll DM my address-”

  
“No, and okay.” Skeppy laughed again. “I guess I’m going to your house?”

  
“Oh-Do you not want to?”

  
“No, I want to go to your house Bad.”

  
They spent the next few moments discussing some finer details of their meet-up. Bad tried his hardest not to think at all-his brain? Nonexistent. It was getting pretty late within the night, the day escaped him. It was nice to talk to Skeppy again. He talked to him the other day, but preferably they would talk every day. This was exactly the way Bad wanted it. Hm, Skeppy, just hanging out together. Talking as they usually do. Skeppy seemed to calm him down a lot, just by being there. He was a good friend to Bad, and he only hoped he could do the same for him. Because he loves Skeppy a lot.

  
He loves Skeppy.


End file.
